OPEN FORUM

MY SOLUTIONS

Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately such as             illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, and alligators attacking people in Florida ...

Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It's a win-win situation.

1) Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.

2) Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies.
3) Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

Three Problems Solved.

---

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today ?

Yes, you say! … I thought so.

---

Think about these:
1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

THE CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq .... Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and

we're not using it anymore!

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse follows:
'Thou Shalt Not Steal,'    'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,'     'Thou Shalt Not Lie'

You cannot post them in a building full of

lawyers, judges and politicians..

Posting them creates a hostile work environment.

Think about this 

ARE YOU PART OF THE PROBLEM?

IF YOU DO NOT SPEAK UP YOU ARE THE PROBLEM!

It is Time for America to Speak up !

Are you an American? Yes, you say? Then ACT like it!

Take the time to listen to this message!

 

Friends,

 

This is a message that clearly needs to be read by every concerned American and hopefully to those on Capitol Hill. It is nine minutes long, so you might want to wait until you have more time to watch it, but I do urge you to watch it! 

 

This guy’s message is right on target.  If only he were a candidate.  I am told there will be more of these messages.  At the end, Joe America provides an email address.

 

I would encourage you to send this on to your email distribution until every American has seen it.  Your email to Joe America could be the material used in his next production!!!  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPch2k63uj4  

 

 

KAFY	970 AM		Bakersfield	Regional Mexican
KAXL	88.3 FM		Bakersfield	Religious
KBID	1350 AM		Bakersfield	Nostalgia
KCHJ	1010 AM	El Gallito	Bakersfield	Spanish Oldies
KCOO	104.3 FM		Bakersfield	No Description Available
KDFO	800 AM		Bakersfield	Sports
KERN	1410 AM		Bakersfield	News-Talk
KFRB	91.3 FM		Bakersfield	Family Religious
KGEO	1230 AM		Bakersfield	Talk-ESPN- Sports
KGFM	101.5 FM		Bakersfield	Soft rock- Delilah
KISV	94.1 FM		Bakersfield	Top-40
KKBB	99.3 FM	B-Rock 99	Bakersfield	Classic Rock
KKXX	96.5 FM	96.5 Kiss FM	Bakersfield	Dance Top 40
KLLY	95.3 FM	Kelly 95.3	Bakersfield	Modern AC
KNZR	1560 AM		Bakersfield	News-Talk
KPRX	89.1 FM		Bakersfield	Public Radio
KRAB	106.1 FM		Bakersfield	Rock
KSMJ	97.7 FM	Smooth Jazz 97.7	Bakersfield	Jazz
KTQX	90.1 FM		Bakersfield	Spanish
KUZZ	550 AM		Bakersfield	Country
KUZZ	107.9 FM		Bakersfield	Country
KWAC	1490 AM	La Nortena	Bakersfield	Regional Mexican

 

 

 

 

FORREST  GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN        
                                        
  The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.


  St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you.
We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."

  Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was."

  St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only 3 questions.
First: What 2 days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God's first name?"

  Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, " Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers"

  Forrest replied, "Well, the 1st one -- which 2 days in the week
begins with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."

  The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.

  "How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be 12."

  Astounded, St. Peter said, "12? 12? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with 12 seconds in a year?"

  Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's got to be 12: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... "

  "Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind...but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the 3rd and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?

  "Sure," Forrest replied,"it's Andy."

  "Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my 1st 2 questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the 1st name of God?"

  "Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song, "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN."

  St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said:
"Run Forrest, run."

Give me a sense of humor, Lord.
Give me the ability to understand a clean joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And to pass it on to other folks.

 

NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION

 

The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Aye from GA.   This guy should run for President one day... ? 

 

"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other mealy-mouthed bed-wetters.

 

We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."

 

ARTICLE I:

You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but NO ONE is guaranteeing anything.

 

ARTICLE II:

You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; But the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

 

ARTICLE III:

You do not have the right to be free from harm.  If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

 

ARTICLE IV:

You do not have the right to free food and housing.  Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes. (This one is my pet peeve...get an education and go to work ... don't expect everyone else to take care of you!)

 

ARTICLE V:

You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

 

ARTICLE VI:

You do not have the right to physically harm other people.  If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

 

ARTICLE VII:

You do not have the right to the possessions of others.  If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

 

ARTICLE VIII:

You do not have the right to a job.  All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. (AMEN!)

 

ARTICLE IX:

You do not have the right to happiness.  Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

 

ARTICLE X:

This is an English speaking country.  We don't care where you are from, English is our language.  Learn it or go back to wherever you came from! (lastly....)

 

ARTICLE XI:

You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage.  This country was founded on the belief in God.  And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution.  The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!!

 

 

 

    I just think it's about time common sense is allowed to flourish. Sensible people of the United States PLEASE speak out, because if you do not, who will?

 

 Serious comments from Jay Leno!

The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right? 
 
The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the president.  In essence 2/3s of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a change. 

So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, ''What  are we so unhappy about?'' 

Is it that we have electricity and running water 24   hours a day, 7 days   a week? Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter? Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job? Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year? 

Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific   Ocean to the Atlantic   Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state? Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter? I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital. 

Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate   case of a fire, a   group of trained firefighters will appear in moments   and use top notch   equipment to extinguish the flames thus saving you, your family and your   belongings. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes , an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your   family against   attack or loss. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents.   Neighborhoods where 90 percent of teenagers own cell phones and computers. 

How about the complete religious, social and   political freedoms we enjoy   that are the envy of everyone in the world? Maybe that is what has 67percent of you folks unhappy.  
 
Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S., yet has a great   disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we   are. The most   blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here. 

I know, I know. What about the president who took   us into war and has   no plan to get us out? The president who has a   measly 31 percent   approval rating? Is this the same president who   guided the nation in   the dark days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in   the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks?  

The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me? Did you hear how bad the   President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad? 
 
Think about it......are you upset at the President   because he actually   caused you personal pain OR is it because the   "Media" told you he was   failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every  day. 

Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and   Afghanistan have   volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have   died for your freedom.   There is currently no draft in this country. They   didn't have to go.   They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general''   discharge, an ''other than honorable'' discharge or,   worst case   scenario, a ''dishonorable'' discharge after a few   days in the brig.  
 
So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans? Say what you want but I blame it on the   media. If it bleeds   it leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody   will watch a car   crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at   the corner? The media knows this and media outlets   are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells, and when   criticized, try to   defend their actions by "justifying" them in one way   or another. Just   ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O.J.   Simpson to write a book   about how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it   this way......Insane! 
 
Stop buying the negativism you are fed everyday by   the media. Shut off   the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times   for the bottom of your   bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we   have as a country.   There is exponentially more good than bad.  
 
We are among the most blessed people on Earth and   should thank God   several times a day, or at least be thankful and   appreciative.  
 
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control,   mud slides, flooding,  severe  thunderstorms tearing up the country from one   end to another, and
with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks,   "Are we sure this is   a good time to take God out of the Pledge of   Allegiance?" 

Jay Leno

---

 

 

"Press One for English!" 

copy and paste into your internet browser address bar

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEJfS1v-fU0 

 

• Privacy Policy
• Agent Login
• Site Map

Site by Z57 Inc.
Copyright © 2008 Bruce Goldsmith . All rights reserved.